He has been my strength for a number of years now and I felt it would be a fitting way if he concludes this. So, presenting the blog from my husband.
“तू अजून बाबा नाही वाटत” which translates as “You don’t look like a father”. These were the words spoken by my cousin sister when she came to visit us at the hospital to see Anaaya. Wonder what does “look like a father mean” anyway. When I held Anaaya in my arms for the first time, I was scared. I had never held a baby so small. My mind was with my wife hoping she’s fine and here the nurse handed over my daughter to me. A tiny 3.5 kg baby with both hands and feet covered with gloves…eyes rolling around…and then fixed on me for 5/10secs…as if saying… I’m finally here!
Tip 1: It’s ok to be scared. Things will work out. You will learn.
She became the centre of attraction for everyone and continues to be till today and she loves it. As new parents, you have to adjust to the line of discussion. First, it’s about the baby….after it’s over… it’s about the mother….and then…only if you are lucky. There will be a question for you about your well being. So a typical conversation will be like:
Did she eat?
Did she sleep well?
Did she cry or is she awake?
Does she make any noise, what are the new developments in her?
… Ok… Fine….take care… Good night…video call later if Anaaya is awake…!!
Tip 2: Don’t worry if no one asks for you… Frankly… You are not on top of mind… Your wife and kid take precedence, Hmm!
Another topic which is discussed in detail is: Who does Anaaya look like? Her eyes, Her nose, Her ears, Her face, it’s more like Manisha as per few family members and relatives, while few people say – She’s like Sachin. It may not matter to me nonetheless, it is a hot topic for discussion. And will continue to be. Every time you meet a new person with Anaaya…..!!
And do the maths this way – Anaaya can resemble like her mom, her dad, her mom’s mom, her mom’s dad, her dad’s mom, her dad’s dad… It doesn’t matter… It’s the genes.
Tip 3: It’s an ice breaker discussion. Don’t think much about it.
With the baby comes the whole package. Includes smiles when she’s happy and crying till the ears burst which will happen even at 2 am at night. And it could be for any reason – hunger, heat, humidity, cold, bad dreams, stomach pain….list is endless
You can’t ever put a finger on it. You’ll learn that with experience – to understand unspoken words. Till then, speak to people who have experience – your parents, paediatrician, someone who has gone through it, they’ll help you. Avoid google. It would end up confusing you more.
Tip 4: Don’t panic. Leave that to your wife. You need to calm down and think of options. Talk to elders.
Till date, I wonder if Anaaya used to listen to me when she was in the womb. Sometimes she behaves as if she understands us. Her facial expressions, her smile, her body movements change depending on the situation. It makes us think if she’s listening to us but unable to explain in her baby language. We took Anaaya via a flight to Delhi then via Shatabadi to Ambala. I told her the sequence of events for the entire trip almost 10 days in advance. To my surprise, she enjoyed every moment of the trip. Didn’t create any hassles. It made our trip memorable.
Tip 5: Talk to your baby. I may be wrong however, my gut feeling is – Anaaya understands us.
Parenting has just begun. It’s been a lovely experience so far with its share of happiness, anger, frustration etc. And I’m sure there’s plenty in store ahead with Anaaya in our life. There’s never been a dull moment.
We will have memorable moments .. We will create such memories – Together!