Too much on my plate…

As per the Maharashtrian rituals, on the 5^th day there is a Puja done for the newborn girl child called as Panchami. The ears need to be pierced on the 10^th day and Naming ceremony is to be done on the 13^th day.

The Panchami Puja was done at home, I could not sit for longer durations so I took rest before and after the ritual. We did not do the ear piercing immediately because the doctor suggested that there are chances of infection so we should delay it for a later period. There was a discussion as to whether we should do the naming ceremony on the 13^th day or not. I wasn’t in a condition to sit for longer duration and the Naming ceremony is the time where all the family members get a chance to spend time with the newborn. Considering all parameters, it was decided that we would do the ceremony after she completes 1.5 months as by that time, I would also be in much better shape and things can be managed well. My father-in-law explained to us all the rituals one has to do for a newborn throughout the year. I made a note of it properly as I did not want anything to be missed.

In the follow-up check-up with my Gynaecologist, my Blood Pressure was considerably very high. I was been asked to keep an eye on the issue as this could be harmful. On the other hand, in the follow up check up for Anaaya we were asked to give her top feed as her feeds were less and her dropping weight a cause of concern. I was totally stressed due to all this.

I was writing down my feed schedules to keep a check on Anaaya health which was a worrisome factor, my health which also needed focus but it was not on the prime agenda of anyone including me, thinking full day and just finding answers to understand what’s going wrong. Somewhere, the fact that I wasn’t able to take care of Anaaya complete nutritional needs also affected me, I felt I am not a good Mom. Things were not in my control but I was blaming myself for it. I can’t explain what thoughts ran in my brain I completely pulled myself away from everyone. I stopped talking and wasn’t in good shape mentally. I felt that there is just no one who exists on this earth who can understand me right now.

Looking back, I can say I was getting adjusted a new development in my life, at that point in time I felt burdened. Life is a learning curve; every day gives rise to new hopes and new energy to fight. As they say, crests and troughs mean I am alive, otherwise, a straight line on an ECG means the person is dead.

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