That Day I saw everything like a movie, my life changed forever…
When I was sulking in my problems, my loneliness was killing me inside, I was cursing – “why me?”. Day in and day out I was trying to flow with the minutes which seemed like never ending days. I must face life so I should get up and go. Every passing day gave me solace that one more day was less from the total count of my life.
Every day, every moment surrounded by people, I was surrounded by the silence of my pain.
My heart bled every day still, I was alive.
My tears never dried up still, I survived.
I had a loving family and some great friends. Why was I alone?
Sometimes I wish I could ask “is marriage the only way to survive for a girl?” I fail to understand the societal norms. I wish I could ask God in this heat of moment – “Why, please answer me why? I was born as a GIRL?”
I have fire in my head and pain in my heart, like a dedicated wife I kept on rolling. I kept on walking till I decided to do something …
I am not a coward but I did it…
I could not resist and fell in the darkness of my pain…
I gave in to my anger and to my lonely thoughts which gave me company…
I fell in the sea of blindness slowly thinking now I will see greener pastures…
What I saw, I never wanted to!
What have I done?
Tears rolling by the eyes of my loved ones just to see me open my eyes. I had been the most obedient child so that my mother never cries, she was in shock. Look what have I done to see them like this. I thought this step would lead me to peace and today my body is suffering the repercussions of my step.
Is this the heaven I was looking for?
That day my soul cried!
In India, once a girl is married she has lesser options to look outside her husband’s house. We have not progressed so much ahead with our thought process. A marriage which gives no love and hope to a girl, still she does not have a choice to be on her own. Depression leads to many faulty steps however – Is Suicide a way out?
We can’t imagine the plight and agony of the girl. The helplessness we can care to understand still, we can’t completely. Before taking the final step, think back how it can affect your surroundings and more so yourself. Not all suicide attempts are successful – Are you willing to face the consequences post that? Do you want to add to your pain? Help yourself. Remember God loves you a lot.
Family and friends, a small help you can do for your loved ones – “Be in Touch”. Throw the norms of the society in dustbin, which can hurt them. If the person is gone, the society cares a damn – you can’t repair your loss, can you?
I am linking up this post as part of #BlogChatter Prompt – #That Day
Disclaimer: These are just my views.